I woke up this morning, dazed but rather smiley as per usual. And found myself on tumblr, because it was 8am on a Friday (which is the start of the weekend in Dubai), and what else are you supposed to first thing? Instead of the morning run, I swore by the night before, I found myself staring blankly at an anonymous message or an 'anon' I should say rather. So, dubiously I replied to it, finding myself wanting to pour my heart out.
''You don't seem very quiet'' the message said.
Ah, instead out of all I wanted to say, I decided to settle with ''I can't agree with you xx' .
Which isn't wrong, I 100% stand by what I said...To me, I seem the most pathetic most awkward human being too ever have existed 75% of the time, the other 25% of time I remember that I am a 16 year old who can make herself look cute sometimes....haha. But, this lead me onto a huge string of thoughts for the whole day. I am not completely perplexed as to why someone would say this to me, but a little surprised. It's quite funny really.
In my school report I received I got the most bizarre mixture of comments from my teachers. Half of my subject teachers have mentioned that I am 'quiet' but despite this (insinuating that being quiet is in fact, something undesirable), I am STILL hard-working. Which honestly, makes me so mad, it makes my blood boil. Why is it, that being quiet is seen as something bad...something that we should try and change about ourselves? Being quiet by no means, means that you lack confidence or that you are not outgoing. You can be outgoing and quiet! Many people assume that if you are quiet...you are shy. In the same way being shy and not being confident or two different things as well. If you are shy, you are nervous/timid in the presence of others...if you lack confidence, you feel insecure and uncomfortable which can lead you to be shy BUT they are two different things. And it irks me that lacking confidence and being shy are associated with being quiet. I think its awful that quiet people get so much crap about being quiet and that they are told they are shy and not confident....this in turn, can make someone shy and lack confidence!!! I think being quiet is lovely and should be cherished by people all over the world. Why should we all conform and be 'loud'. WHY? Why is this the'best' kind of personality.
In my opinion, 'quiet' people are still confident, and have opinions and aren't afraid to express them. They can answer questions in class....talk to people. But, they don't feel the need to talk for the sake of talking.
I am a quiet person, and I am well bloody proud of it. To hell with everyone who thinks otherwise. I am bloody pleased with the person I am. I am proud of the fact that I am quiet, yes I probably do lack a bit of confidence but that by no means makes me 'less' social. I am a social person, I can talk to strangers, it's a bit awkward at times, but I do try and can make an effort. And maybe I am not the best at making friends? I do have a few that I love very much. But I think I am nice, and I can shut my mouth and not throw tantrums in the middle of classes.
Why do people find it okay to criticise people's personality,things that are not 'bad' things, that are not harming anyone. IT IRKS TO THE POINT I WANT TO SCREAM FOR A MILLION YEARS. NO I NEVER WANT TO BE 'LOUD'. I WANT TO BE QUIET, JOLLY, OUTGOING AND HAPPY....BUT CERTAINLY NOT LOUD.
I never want to talk for the sake of talking, I don't want to talk when I don't want to and I certainly DON'T WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE I DON'T WANT AND WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
I am what people to be 'loud' with my friends and my family, immediate family I should state, but really I am just being myself, because I love them and because I know them and because I have things in common with them and I feel happy and safe and I am sure anyone else would be too.
Quiet people can still be outgoing. I AM STILL OUTGOING. Loud people can be STILL BE sad, lonely and annoying. SO NO I WILL NOT CHANGE MYSELF BECAUSE TEACHERS THINK I SHOULD OR THAT PEOPLE THINK I SHOULD OR ANYONE THINKS I SHOULD.
I like who I am. And I am quiet and I can be 'loud' at times, but I am not a loud person. I probably never will be...I don't feel comfortable being 'loud'....I'm just me really. I'm quite ordinary and I'm very VERY happy with that. I'm not dumb, I know I do have to love myself more than I do and work on my confidence, but I do not appreciate anyone telling me that I need to be 'louder' thank-you very much.
