My articles for Reef

As of May this year, I started to write for Reef Magazine which I am/was very excited about, who wouldn't be? And during the last 3 months I have written quite a few articles. Normally, I would make a post every time I posted for Reef but, as I have written lots and lots and it has been forever since I have blogged, I decided the best thing to do was to make a 'appreciation for Hannah's work at Reef magazine' - a master post and collection of everything I have done so far!

Reef magazine isn't a published magazine, it's an online one, but that doesn't make it any less kick-arse. Its bloody fantastic to say the least. I've come to think of the other writers as my nice writing family! They are all so lovely and talented, of course everyone at Reef is marvy (if I may say so myself ;).

Some of the articles I have posted are very personal, some not so much but I am a proud writer and am (freaking) loving the writing fab lane right now especially at Reef.

Fun fact: To put my Arabic knowledge to some good use, Reef means countryside in Arabic - wow look at me aren't I the smart one eh

**********Article queueing *********** (to find the full articles click here!) These are literally just print screen shots of the articles, ha and so all of them are cut off.

Crossing off another week

It is officially 3 weeks into summer tomorrow. Most of summer has passed me in a hospital bed or recovering from not one surgery....but two. TWO BLOODY SURGERIES. Good lord. Rather chuffed though, I was however, called a ''brave girl'' for choosing an epidural rather than a full body anaesthesia, was awfully terrifying though. ''If you move Hannah, you will literally be paralysed forever (and ever) '', a thought repeatedly floating in my mind whilst a massive needle jabbed me in the spine. Lovely. 

I've been on full body anaesthesia before when I had my tonsils and adenoids removed two years ago, when I was at my prime (14!!), and I have noticed since, I have a very weird reflex to the anaesthesia...Yes it is true - I tend to cry. The thought of the fact I had been crying in front of the whole medical team after both surgeries is enough to make me want to hide in a cupboard for the rest of my life. Despite my outburst of tears, nobody was able to understand my tears which I found (really) odd and slightly lame. I am rather surprised that they had never seen anyone cry after surgery? Apparently, the most common reflex is to bite really hard and to end up damaging your teeth. Ah let me cry I was very confused and I wanted my mummy and I couldn't eat for another 5 hours, let alone be able to TASTE my food, is that not enough to make anyone want to cry, is it not?

In exactly one weeks time, I will be heading off to England....and not returning to Dubai which is making me very very nervous and very frightened. To be honest, I absolutely am in love with Dubai - everything about it is perfect (almost perfect) to me, the people, oh the people, yes I must admit do need a bit of a reality check but no one cares here, we can unite in our little snobby bubble of cheese bread and money (£££££) and still be very content with our lives.

Also if you don't believe me about the snobbishness...once my mum was chatting to this lady about the usual - school, lazy husbands and what not - and the lady then asked her, quite suddenly and randomly, what car she had and how many bedrooms there are in her home.

Top tip: when approached by a Jumeirah Jane Mummy: Always say you have a small silver Peugeot and a two bedroom flat, there is a 79% chance they will never talk to you again but it's ok...ain't no time for gold diggers!

Tomorrow, I get my stitches out of my nose, hurrah! Very much looking forward to that because I have had to resort to mouth breathing for the last week, you simply cannot imagine how much a struggle eating at a restaurant without the ability to breathe through your mouth is....it's really mank to say the least. Sucks like flat coke at room temperature, that's how much.

Not sure what I am supposed to be doing with this summer, I don't think watching back to back episodes of ''About a Boy'' (freaking hilarious to say the least though) and feeling sorry for myself about the pain my surgeries has caused me....is what I should be doing.

I am making it a personal goal to spend the last 6 days (today I shall not commit to this goal because I am in pain and STILL breathing from my mouth, Nay...I shall commence tomorrow), to be exceedingly productive.

1. To get off my bum and exercise in the evenings, its Ramadan so I can't work out in the mornings or afternoons but I must try to pump some lifts or whatever ha

2. Make myself a facial everyday consisting of lemon, rosewater and almond oil

3. Write lots of articles and save them and post them through out the year for various magazines

4. Achieve the ultimate goal: To be a permanent writing staff at Rookie magazine (my fav mag in the whole entire world) 

5. Be kind + generous + patient

6. Do some MOOC courses for extra credit love

7. Keep on track of my praying and religious stuff (ramadan after all)

8. To keep diary writing 

9. To meet friends 3 times before I leave D:

10. To not go on the computer as much on social media, random Google searches, watching TV/films

11. Tidy room, de clutter and organise everything like a mega boss.

And with that I shall leave you to get on with the summer goals.

Cheers
Hannah
ps: I do hope you are having a marvy summer, if not make some goals and turn it around!

xoxo

It has been a crazy few months

Well well, I don't really know where to begin. In my last blog post 3 months ago that is, I decided that I would no longer make blog posts of the fear people at my school might read my fairly unpopular, semi-lame, semi-weird blog I run. So being me, I decided to put everything on private and never say a word on here again. And instead, decided to express myself through short vague weird text posts on my oh so favourite website: TUMBLR.

But I miss the real kind of blogging and I'm back and I enjoy blogging and...and...and...well I hope you still love me because I certainly have a lot to share.

Ok so firstly, I know you've been LONGING to hear, yes yes, I have finished my exams....how wonderfully marvy, it has been so hectic, many stressful nights and carbs taking a toll on my skin...but nonetheless, GCSES can kiss my arse because....never again do I have to prepare myself mentally and assure myself that I may possibly still find a husband if I fail this exam, it is not the end of the world. Never again do I have to see the words: GCSE EXAM as I walk through the examination centre room. Nay, all I have left is too long bloody years of sixth form in dismal England.......cry for me.....Are you crying for me?

I had my prom, wow, Prom is the most overrated piece of crap I have ever endured. Lord knows. But..I did have fun (lots), and the food was life changing, Oh yes, they had ravioli and lemon mirangue tarts - and ain't nobody like that crap more than I do!!! NOBODY. So yes, I had a fun time at the buffet. My dress? Yes yes, a wonderful black cut out short dress with silver embroidery, classy classy rest assured, sexy sexy (not at all). But, it was a lot of photos. It was basically photos. And chatting. No dancing. Not that my extremely uncomfortable heels could really support my feet as I stomped around, bum jiggled, boobs jiggling, tum juggling - everything jiggling including my ankle cartilage before it snaps off and I collapse to the floor with screams and tears, poor poor Hannah they would say, as the paramedics rush to me and try to save what is left off my 400dhs Steve Madden heels.

Um, it is summer, and also I have a surgery tomorrow, apparently I have chronic ulsers so, this is going to be a fun week, isn't it? Plans for summer, England possibly Paris POSSIBLY...but I am going to really enjoy 'my' city before I literally jet off to England.

I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with any aspect of my life, feeling very lost 98% of the time, but at least I have wi-fi.

Good night
Hannah

''You don't seem very quiet''

I woke up this morning, dazed but rather smiley as per usual. And found myself on tumblr, because it was 8am on a Friday (which is the start of the weekend in Dubai), and what else are you supposed to first thing? Instead of the morning run, I swore by the night before, I found myself staring blankly at an anonymous message or an 'anon' I should say rather. So, dubiously I replied to it, finding myself wanting to pour my heart out.

''You don't seem very quiet'' the message said.

Ah, instead out of all I wanted to say, I decided to settle with ''I can't agree with you xx' .
Which isn't wrong, I 100% stand by what I said...To me, I seem the most pathetic most awkward human being too ever have existed 75% of the time, the other 25% of time I remember that I am a 16 year old who can make herself look cute sometimes....haha. But, this lead me onto a huge string of thoughts for the whole day. I am not completely perplexed as to why someone would say this to me, but a little surprised. It's quite funny really.

 In my school report I received I got the most bizarre mixture of comments from my teachers. Half of my subject teachers have mentioned that I am 'quiet' but despite this (insinuating that being quiet is in fact, something undesirable), I am STILL hard-working. Which honestly, makes me so mad, it makes my blood boil. Why is it, that being quiet is seen as something bad...something that we should try and change about ourselves? Being quiet by no means, means that you lack confidence or that you are not outgoing. You can be outgoing and quiet! Many people assume that if you are quiet...you are shy. In the same way being shy and not being confident or two different things as well. If you are shy, you are nervous/timid in the presence of others...if you lack confidence, you feel insecure and uncomfortable which can lead you to be shy BUT they are two different things. And it irks me that lacking confidence and being shy are associated with being quiet. I think its awful that quiet people get so much crap about being quiet and that they are told they are shy and not confident....this in turn, can make someone shy and lack confidence!!! I think being quiet is lovely and should be cherished by people all over the world. Why should we all conform and be 'loud'. WHY? Why is this the'best' kind of personality.

In my opinion, 'quiet' people are still confident, and have opinions and aren't afraid to express them. They can answer questions in class....talk to people. But, they don't feel the need to talk for the sake of talking.

I am a quiet person, and I am well bloody proud of it. To hell with everyone who thinks otherwise. I am bloody pleased with the person I am. I am proud of the fact that I am quiet, yes I probably do lack a bit of confidence but that by no means makes me 'less' social. I am a social person, I can talk to strangers, it's a bit awkward at times, but I do try and can make an effort. And maybe I am not the best at making friends? I do have a few that I love very much. But I think I am nice, and I can shut my mouth and not throw tantrums in the middle of classes.

Why do people find it okay to criticise people's personality,things that are not 'bad' things, that are not harming anyone. IT IRKS TO THE POINT I WANT TO SCREAM FOR A MILLION YEARS. NO I NEVER WANT TO BE 'LOUD'. I WANT TO BE QUIET, JOLLY, OUTGOING AND HAPPY....BUT CERTAINLY NOT LOUD.

I never want to talk for the sake of talking, I don't want to talk when I don't want to and I certainly DON'T WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE I DON'T WANT AND WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

I am what people to be 'loud' with my friends and my family, immediate family I should state, but really I am just being myself, because I love them and because I know them and because I have things in common with them and I feel happy and safe and I am sure anyone else would be too.

Quiet people can still be outgoing. I AM STILL OUTGOING. Loud people can be STILL BE sad, lonely and annoying. SO NO I WILL NOT CHANGE MYSELF BECAUSE TEACHERS THINK I SHOULD OR THAT PEOPLE THINK I SHOULD OR ANYONE THINKS I SHOULD.

I like who I am. And I am quiet and I can be 'loud' at times, but I am not a loud person. I probably never will be...I don't feel comfortable being 'loud'....I'm just me really. I'm quite ordinary and I'm very VERY happy with that. I'm not dumb, I know I do have to love myself more than I do and work on my confidence, but I do not appreciate anyone telling me that I need to be 'louder' thank-you very much.

BIRTHDAY

Today I am finally sixteen which makes me very happy and excited....Really have not particularly LOVED being fifteen and certainly did not have any taylorswiftlike moments - it was quite a 'meh' year to be quite frank. But I have achieved a whole lot which makes me a very proud Hannah. I hope that being sixteen will be far better than 15 still.... Am moving to England in August which makes me a tad bit nervous but mainly excited. Everyone needs to get away from where they were brought up for a while and try new thing I think. Have started being 16 on the right foot have got some lovely presents and cards and warm hugs *fuzzies*, from friends. Tomorrow is my party, only time well tell how that well turn out :) - Have never had a themed party quite like this year, so quite anxious/exhilarated......

Hope you had a fab day (I certainly have)!!

Hannah
xx
p.s: look at the tiara one of my friends got me (Isn't it marvy? I nearly cried wow, by far one of my fav presents)

Understanding Bitchy Men Syndrome

I really do think it is time to fully embrace my relationship status in public (well, to those very few of you who read my blog, ha) Unlike Beyonce, I am indeed a very single lady, and no....I shan't be putting my hands up and dancing in some club to announce it, not that there are many clubs in Dubai...Instead, I shall be feeling very smug about the fact that actually single life can be brilliant and fab at times as well...*SERIOUSLY*

.

From all this fab-me time I've obviously been having alone by myself. I have had time to think. And ponder. And I've come to this question. Why is it that some boys are just massive dickheads?

And the truth is, there is only one explanation for this: BITCHY MEN SYNDROME. There lies no other explanation - any other explanation simply doesn't make sense. For example, you can't just say boys are dickheads and justify that with 'because they are' because firstly, that is a terrible justification making you seem a bit obnoxious and secondly, this contradicts everything you have ever been taught (you known the: ''everybody has some good in them'', ''they are kind deep inside'' nonsense you were always taught)....SOME BOYS JUST DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD IN THEM. They may be beautiful, but their eyelashes are in fact, as black as their soul and as long as the list of people that don't like them.

Bitchy Men Syndrome is in fact the only real explanation we can give to these beautiful men. What is it you may ask? It is literally what it sounds like, some boys are just bitches - its just something your born with that peaks when your about 10 and never goes away. Well, maybe it does...maybe some boys become a lot nicer when they become fathers or get married or something gooey and mushy like that, when they finally 'become a man'  - ha!

Boys affected with Bitchy Men Syndrome, tend to be very attractive, very intelligent but remain bitches despite their education and everything they have ever been taught but we must stress that they are very attractive. Take this real life example to heart, a friend of mine bumped into a boy  dickhead, and then soon came across some girls pretending to faint and the sight of this 'incident', ''You are so lucky, I wish I had too bumped into him'' they all said in unison...clearly captivated and blinded by the attractiveness that the Bitchy Men Syndrome had given him, and unable to notice what a dickhead he really was. Fools.

I do hope that none of us fall into this trap...it happens for too frequently and I fear I may too become a victim of the Bitchy Men Syndrome. I fear I may too, become a fool. Does that mean we should only date boys that are *gulp* under 6 foot...? No no, what a preposterous thought I just had, anyone under 6 foot ain't getting under me...

Joking aside, I really do hope none of us actually end up dating bitchy bastard men and stay with them because they are beautiful...that would be an exceedingly unfortunate event.

Have probably sounded a bit cynical (not all men are bastards!)
I do hope you still love me.

Hannah
xx

Battling the obsticle of the fitness blues

Alas it is February, a good solid month and a bit since you first set your February resolutions. And of course, you are either soaring, very exuberant with your new found healthy lifestyle: exercising 3 hour every day, having sex for AT LEAST 4 hours every night and you are of course having home cooked healthy under 300 calorie meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. OR you are sitting in your bed right now – feeling FAT and MISERABLE being your usual wonderfully hateful self, cursing at yourself and your failed resolutions and how that in fact, you wouldn't even mind having sex for four hours every night...except that nobody really wants to sleep with you. It’s either between these options or that...in fact, you did not keep any resolutions because you knew that it was inevitable that you would not keep any of them – but you are very able to have sex with any man because you are a goddess (of course).

It’s February and...I...well failed myself, consecutively now for 5 bloody years...and screw unrealistic New Year resolutions. Make February resolutions. And it's still winter after all, something to be a little happy about. There is little to be happy about any more and life seems very bizarre but do you know what isn't at all bizarre: EXERCISE. Do it!!! Do it!!! Say no to obesity and high blood pressure and get a lovely bum...I can honestly feel exhilaration rushing through my anaemic veins right now just thinking about the rear of the year you could achieve, dude. It’s hard and difficult to be dedicated to fitness, loving your body and all that crap but it really is worth it...at sixteen (basically, c'mon I know it’s a month man till I am actually 16 why do you have to be so goddamn fussy), as I was saying at sixteen...naive, stupid and only bearing one piercing in my ears , I can say from my very little experience in this world...or my ‘little bubble’ as I have not actually set foot in the ‘real world’, that exercise is the best most wonderful thing you can give to your body. It really really really is.  I know a lot of people say a whole load about loving your body...and while that is too important, do it so you can live longer and live longer without diseases and disorders...be healthy! Don’t cash in on your high metabolism... (If you’re lucky enough to have it), just because it doesn't show doesn't mean you are healthy and ‘fit’...and while we all joke about being ‘lazy fat slobs’ – it’s quite frankly, disgusting. It is disgusting to be lazy, to not care for your body!

I think the most exciting things to do, that also happens to be exercise (lmao) which is also exceedingly therapeutic...is...swinging, on swings (ha!). I love swinging, if I had a swing I would spend all my free time on it, doing my homework, thinking, writing...god knows what...I have had a free-spiritedly weird infatuation with swings when I was younger...it’s somewhat a bit like flying...coinciding with the pilot dream. But walking is also fab, walking is actually beyond fab especially if it’s on the beach, or if it’s windy and chilly but not too chilly but the kind of chilly that is still bearable and has a breeze and it absolutely delicious? Also marvy trainers are always a wonderfully massive motivator to beat the fitness blues. Think bright pink and green with zebra spots and little pictures of pancakes on the straps.

Anyway...it’s a choice that one must make themselves. And although, it is very tempting right now to  have some ravioli, I will beat this temptation...

Hmmmm...The things I do for my health.

Hannahxx